Autism, the Pandemic and COVID

I literally feel this way every single day I’m in hiding from COVID and the pandemic. People should wear masks to stem the transmission of the virus. Otherwise, I will never be free to go out again. No schedule, no socialization, no peace of mind.

By John Clise

(Trigger warning– There are thoughts, opinions, and language contained herein that some people may find offensive. Proceed at your own risk.)

I went into a restaurant to sit down and eat last week for the first time since March of 2020. It was a short-lived back to normal as the COVID cases are beginning to shoot up again. So, it’s back to no dining out for me. Back to being ultra careful where I go (which is usually no place), ultra careful about the people I’m around, and, of course, embracing the solitary life that has been driving me nuts for the past 18 months.

Yes, back to the backyard oasis I call that 12 foot by 12 foot patch of grass I call a backyard. Actually, it’s pretty nice back there. Peaceful and calming to the mind, spirit, and soul. I need that a lot these days.

Being autistic is stressful on the best of days. Meltdowns just appear out of nowhere. Stimming can become overwhelming to the other people I share a home with. The other people I refer to is my wife Rebecca. She goes out of her way and beyond to help me in every way she possibly can.

It is difficult when your husband is flapping his arms like a goose trying to take off and screaming profanity loudly because he can’t not do those things.

As the picture above implies, I am very frustrated with the pandemic, and quite honestly don’t understand why people don’t just wear a mask and get the vaccine. Liberties and all of that bullshit, I guess.

I hear people my age rambling on about how they don’t trust the vaccine… mother f#$%@r… we had every vaccine coming down the pike when were kids. We’re still alive. Shut the hell up and get the God Damn vaccine. And if you were in the military… your arm got jabbed with stuff you’ll never know about.

I’ve been trying to get into a groove or a schedule. I’ve started writing again. That’s been helping me greatly. Plus my editor is a hard driving, relentless taskmaster.

So perhaps that will help me get the structure and focus back in my life, and I won’t stress out so much.

This pandemic has turned into an idiotfest. People refuse to get the vaccine. Refuse to wear masks. Fall back on weak-ass excuses like it’s my liberty not to wear a mask, or it only affects me if I get it… no, assholes… it then affects everyone around you. Family, friends, coworkers, doctors, nurses, orderlies, strangers on the street, and the undertaker who puts you in the ground over you dumbass excuses.


If more people wore masks and got the vaccine people like me wouldn’t spend half their time banging their heads against the wall or the floor or the dining room table or gouging at their faces. And the argument that it’s my choice to do those things… fuck off. It isn’t my choice. If I could choose not to punch myself in the face I would most definitely choose not to do that.

People like me… we are just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to worrying about getting COVID or being exposed to it.

In addition to autism, as most of you know, I am in end stage liver failure. NASH. COVID will likely most definitely kill me off.

So, in summary, and conclusion, it appears I’ll be spending more time in the apartment, and the backyard paradise, because a bunch of selfish, childish, paranoid, delusional jackwagons can’t be bothered to wear a mask and get a simple shot.

Here’s a message from the LGBTQ+ community for you no maskers and anti-vaxxers.


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