Home Country: City Folk Can’t Find Their Way Out of the Ranch

By Slim Randles

I was recently invited to join Bob Milford, manager of the prestigious Diamond W Ranch, on a drive-around tour of the place. It’s a huge, private ranch, with tiny ex-logging roads winding around through 13,000 acres of pine trees and rocks. A real paradise.

But I was horrified to see wooden street signs nailed to trees wherever two of these old logging trails came together.

“Oh no,” I said, out loud.

“What’s the matter?” Bob asked.

“I see you’re planning a subdivision here.”

Bob started laughing when I pointed at the signs. “Those are for the owners,” he explained. “They live Back East and visit here one weekend a year. When they get out here, they take the pickup and drive around and get lost.

“Once I got a call on the cell phone from the owner, who said he was lost and couldn’t find his way back to the house. So I asked him where he was and he said he was right there, sitting on a rock and close to a pine tree.”

He chuckled. “That narrowed it down to about 13,000 acres. Well, I managed to find him, and after that, I put these signs up. I tell them now, if they get lost, to drive until they come to Home Road and then head downhill. It solved the problem.”

Brought to you by The Backpocket Guide to Hunting Elk, Practical Advice from a Guide and Outfitter, by Slim Randles. Now sold through Amazon.com.

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